* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
next show:   to be announced...soon!
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Cerebral                           
Punishment
              Reasons to Drink for June:

1 Jun 1973 - Happy Birthday Heidi Klum.
2 Jun 1851 - Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law prohibiting
alcohol.  Just another reason New England sucks.
3 Jun 1967 - The Doors "Light My Fire" was released.
4 Jun 1975 - Happy Birthday Angelina Jolie.
5 Jun 1967 - The Six Day War between Israel and Egypt, Syria and
Jordan began.   Wait, what.....6 days?  Uh..........
6 Jun 1948 - Happy Birthday Robert England (Freddy Kruger).
7 Jun 1917 - Happy Birthday Dean Martin.
8 Jun 1998 - The National Rifle Association elected Charlton Heston to
be its president.  We would forever be protected from those "damn,
dirty apes".
9 Jun 1981 - Happy Birthday Natalie Portman.
10 Jun 1978 - Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good" was released.
11 Jun 1973 - After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of
Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle.   Gotta love PA!
12 Jun 1974 - Happy Birthday Jason Mewes (Jay of "Jay and Silent Bob).
13 Jun 1940.  Happy Birthday Malcolm McDowell (Clockwork Orange).
14 Jun 1989 - Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested in Beverly Hills for slapping a
motorcycle policeman.
15 Jun 1980 - Happy Birthday Mary Carey.
16 Jun 1980 - The movie "The Blues Brothers" opened in Chicago, IL.
17 Jun 1966 & 67 - Happy Birthday to my two favorite porn stars, Tori
Wells and Christy Canyon.
18 Jun 1873 - Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote
for a U.S. President.   Get your ass back in the kitchen!
19 Jun 1943 - The National Football League approved the merger of the
Philadelphia Eagles and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
20 Jun 1952 - Happy Birthday John Goodman.
21 Jun 1981 - "Raiders of the Lost Ark" opened.
22 Jun 1958 - Happy Birthday Bruce Campbell.
23 Jun 1993 - Lorena Bobbitt  sexually mutilated her husband, John,
after he allegedly raped her.  This was put here as a reminder
guys......they are ALL dangerous.
24 Jun 1664 - New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was founded.
It was immediately taken over by the Sopranos.
25 Jun 1995 - Pearl Jam canceled their tour because of an ongoing
feud with Ticketmaster.  Huh...Pearl Jam.  Remember them?
26 Jun 1956 - Happy Birthday Chris Issak.
27 Jun 1955 - The first "Wide Wide World" was broadcast on NBC-TV.
29 Jun 1953 - Happy Birthday Colin Hay (Men At Work).
30 Jun 1953 - The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in
Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250.
Cerebral                           
Punishment
Next show: To Be Announced.
        "Brian-Buster" Recommendations"

Must See:  "Jimi:  All is By My Side" (2014).   Puesdo-documentary
starring Andre Benjamin as a spot-on Jimi Hendrix.


Must Avoid:  
"Birdman" (2014)".  Had some high hopes for this one, but
alas, it was quite overrated.  I would recommend
"Harvey Birdman:  
Attorney at Law"
instead.
                                                    Manitoba Moose's
                       Tasteless Jokes of the Month
             


-   
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty"
stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next
time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in
protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before
class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the
lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in
France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.
"Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane
doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."


-   
A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty
bucks for a blow job?" His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?"

- A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all - money, a magnificent
house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman... then, poof! It was all
gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out..."
                   
    Random Thoughts to Start the Summer!

Summer is off and running, so here are a few Random Thoughts about
the upcoming season:

- The NBA season is (thankfully) almost over, and you know what that
means?  20% less "Le-brawwwwnnnn talk".  That, unfortunately, means
20% more New York Yankees talk.  You know, no matter how bad either
of these two lose (or suck for that matter), the sports channels will still
find a way to talk about them over everything else.  For the record, here
is what I think about both of these "brands":








- More heat equals more riots/violcnce (fingers crossed).  

- The next person who says "it's too hot" will get a gentle reminder of
how much snow I had to shovel between January and March.  And by
"gentle reminder" I mean a punch in the face.

- Finally, I am starting a new campaign for the summer of 2015.  It's
simply known as "Full Length Mirrors Stop Bad Decisions".   Take it on
board, embrace it, and for Christ's sake, REALLY look at yourself before
you leave your fucking house!

Reminder, the summer comedy tour is in full swing.  Send me an email
for details on where I will be performing next.

Till next time......drinks are on me,

BL
                   Brian's Bucket List!
            Just a random list of things  Brian wants "to do" before  
                       it's all over.  This month:  
Arianny Celeste!
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