* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
next show:   to be announced...soon!
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Cerebral                           
Punishment
        Reasons to Drink for January:

1 1943 - Happy Birthday Don Novello (Father Guido Sarducci).
2 1967 - Happy Birthday Tia Carrere.
3 1970 - Davy Jones announced he was leaving The Monkees.  
4 1999 - Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as
Minnesota's 37th governor.
5 1998 - Sony Bono died in a skiing accident.   See, even SEMI-famous
people shouldn't ski.
6 1987 - Elton John cancelled all live performances for a year after
having throat surgery.   Insert your own "stuck in throat" joke here.
7 1948 - Happy Birthday to Rock & Roll bad boy, Kenny Loggins.
8 1973 - Elvis Presley sued Priscilla Presley for a divorce.
9 1944 - Happy Birthday Jimmy Page.
10 1949 - Vinyl records were introduced by RCA and Columbia.
11 1967 - Jimi Hendrix recorded "Purple Haze."
12 1971 - "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV.
13 1979 - The Y.M.C.A. filed a lawsuit against the Village People over
their song, "Y.M.C.A."
14 1966 - David Jones changed his last name to Bowie to avoid
confusion with Davy Jones from the Monkees.   Holy shit...Davy Jones
has gotten TWO mentions already....he's on the comeback!!
15 1948 - Ronnie Van Zant would have been 64 years old today.
16 1976 - The album, "Frampton Comes Alive", was released.
17 1949 - Comedian Andy Kaufman would have turned 63 today.
18 1974 - Bad Company was formed.
19 1951 - Happy Birthday Martha Davis (The Motels)
20 1969 - Elvis Presley recorded "In the Ghetto" and "Suspicious Minds."
21 1925 - Comedian Benny Hill would have turned 85 today.
22 1879 - British troops were massacred by the Zulus at Isandhlwana.  
Can the Brits beat ANYONE?
23 1964 - Happy Birthday Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU)
24 1949 - John Belushi would have turned 60 today.
25 1971 - Charles Manson was found guilty of one count of conspiracy
to commit murder.
26 1934 - The Apollo Theatre opened in New York City.
27 1756 - Composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born.
28 1978 - The Doobie Brothers made an appearance on ABC-TV's
"What's Happening."   Who doesn't remember that?
29 1970 - Happy Birthday Heather Graham.
30 1900 - The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a larger
army.   I am noticing a trend here.
31 1970 - Happy Birthday Minnie Driver.
Cerebral                           
Punishment
Next show: To Be Announced.
      "Brian-Buster" Recommendations"

Must See:  "Misery Loves Comedy" (2015).   Kevin Pollack interviews
dozens of stand up comics to find out if being damaged makes you
funnier.

Must Avoid:  
"Human Centipede 3 (2015)".   I watched it so you didn't
have to.....you are fucking welcome!
                                              Manitoba Moose's
                       Tasteless Jokes of the Month
       


-  The new Baltimore mother got out of bed for the first time since her
childbirth dressed in her robe and walked down the hospital hallway to
the nurses desk where she asked for a phone book. "What are you
doing out here! You should be in your room resting," the nurse
exclaimed. "I want to search through the phone book for a name for my
baby," the new mother replied. "You don't have to do that here. The
hospital furnished a booklet to all new mothers to assist them in picking
a first name for their baby." "You don't understand," the woman said and
frowned. "My baby already has a FIRST name!"

-  It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic
activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's
performance. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.
After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
          
                      Happy New Year!

Hello again everyone!  First off, sorry for the delay in the updates.  I have
recently switched over to a new company and server to run my web
site, and well, being that I am not all that technologically sound, it has
taken a while to get things in order.  Thank you for your patience....I am
talking to you, Eric H.!!!!!

So, since my latest update coincides with the new year, I guess I might
as well start out with my New Year's resolutions.   Here we go...

- I resolve to be more in tune with other people's needs....as in "You
NEED to shut the fuck up" and "You NEED to mind your own business".

- I resolve to not make fun of or complain about Maryland.

- I resolve to use less social media and just be more social.

- I resolve to spend my weekends binge watching all those t.v. shows
that everyone says I "gotta watch".  OK, not much of a resolution if I am
already doing it, but really, it's all about having goals.

- Maryland REALLY sucks!  Oh shit, so much for that resolution.

- I resolve to drink more.  Um, please refer to my binge watching
resolution for further explanation if you need it.

- I resolve to restart by campaign to show people that Kevin Hart, Seth
Rogen, and Melissa McCarthy just ain't funny.  (OK, that one shouldn't be
too hard).

- And finally, I resolve to perform more this year.  I need your help on
that one.  Anyone know of a venue near you, let me know so I can get it
booked.

I hope everyone had a safe holiday and I wish all of you the best in the
coming year.

Till next time......drinks are on me,

BL
                   Brian's Bucket List!
      Just a random list of things  Brian wants "to do" before  
                   it's all over.  This month: Jaime Edmondson!
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