* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
next show:   to be announced...soon!
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Cerebral                           
Punishment
            Reasons to Drink for April:

1 1976 - Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville" was released.
2 1989 - An editorial in the "New York Times" declared that the Cold War
was over.   Boy was I glad....I HATE the cold.
3  1949 - Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis debuted on radio on the "Martin
and Lewis Show".
4 1967 - Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show."
5 1985 - John McEnroe said "any man can beat any woman at any sport,
especially tennis."  Yeah, tennis is a sport like poker is a sport.
6 1937 - Happy Birthday Billy Dee Williams.  Let's all celebrate with
some Colt .45......alllllll right!
7 1933 - Prohibition ended in the United States.   Fuckin' A!
8 1994 - Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) was found dead at the age of 27.
9 1974 - Happy Birthday Jenna Jameson.
10 1951 - Happy Birthday Steven Seagal.
11 1966 - Frank Sinatra recorded "Strangers in the Night."
12 1947 - Happy Birthday David Letterman.
13 1973 - Roger Daltrey (Who) released his first solo album "Daltrey."
14 1945 - Happy Birthday Ritchie Blackmore (Rainbow)
15 1955 - Ray Kroc started the McDonald's restaurant chain.
16 1996 - KISS announced a reunion tour with makeup.
17 1972 - Happy Birthday Jennifer Garner.
18 2002 - Actor Robert Blake was arrested in connection with the
shooting death of his wife about a year before.
19 2002 - Layne Staley (Alice in Chains) was found dead in his
apartment.
20 1912 - Fenway Park opened as the home of the Boston Red Sox.
21 1970 - Happy Birthday Jeff Anderson (Clerks)
22 1950 - Happy Birthday Peter Frampton.
23 1988 - A U.S. federal law took effect that banned smoking on flights
that were under two hours.   Now if they would only ban children under 2
years of age.
24 1967 - The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts....unless they
were on men, I bet.
25 2003 - Sinead O'Connor announced on her Web site that she was
going to retire.  In a related story..no body noticed.
26 1977 - Studio 54 opened in New York.
27 1988 - Queensryche released the album "Operation: Mindcrime."
28 1981 - Happy Birthday Jessica Alba.
29 1970 - Happy Birthday Uma Thurman.
30 1933 - Happy Birthday Willie Nelson.
Cerebral                           
Punishment
Next show: To Be Announced.
     "Brian-Buster" Recommendations"

Must See:  "The Bell Witch Haunting" (2013).   If you like the "found
footage films", this is one of the better ones.


Must Avoid:  
"The East" (2013)" .   If you watch the trailer, you would
think this is the most action packed movie in history.  It's not...and even
Eric from "True Blood" can't save this piece of shit.
                                                   Manitoba Moose's
                       Tasteless Jokes of the Month
                            


-
Q: What's better than seeing a hot chick wrestle?
 A: Seeing her box.


-
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
 A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.


- Q: What's better than screwing two eighteen year old hot chicks at the   
        same time?
  A: Not a damn thing!

- A man who was shopping at Victoria's Secret took an elegant pair of
pajamas up to the sales girl.  "My," said the girl. "Your wife is just going
to love these!"
"Oh.  In that case I'd better buy another pair."
                   And what have we learned?

It's been a very interesting couple of months.  Two months ago, I went
in for surgery to fix an injury I incurred almost 7 years ago.  The
recovery time has given me time to reflect.  Let's discuss what I now
know:

1.  Military Doctors are in the military because they really don't know
what they are doing.  Yep, mis-diagnosis 7 years ago by a "military
doctor" left me in this condition.  If you do get the chance to meet a
doctor who professes to have spent time in the military, ask him how
many confirmed kills he has...then ask him how many were from
friendly fire.

2.  The hottest nurse will always pay attention to you right before the
anesthesia hits.

3.  The newest nurse will always be the one to have to insert your I.V.

4.  No matter what type of surgery, you never look as cool in the
recovery room as action stars do in the movies.

5.  You will never have to go to the bathroom more often than when you
are on crutches.

6.  Physical Therapists can be your best friend or your worse enemy.

7.  (For the guys).  No matter how tough you are, describing your
illness/injury to the female nurse before the doctor sees you always
makes you look like a pussy.


I was fortunate to have an incredible surgeon and an awesome
physical therapist to help with the post-surgery stuff.  If you need a
good podiatrist, I will be glad to refer you.


Till next time......drinks are on me,

BL
                     Brian's Bucket List!
  Just a random list of things  Brian wants "to do" before it's all over.       
                                   This month:  
Jennifer Mischiati!
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