* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
Let's Make This Country Great Again!
The following is a excerpt of a great email I received from my good
friend Sean S. Hope you enjoy.
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare.
I am an American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does
not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you
came from and change your own country!
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any
Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part
of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the
law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world
for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff
or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!
Till next time......drinks are on me,
BL
| next show: to be announced...soon! |
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Cerebral
Punishment
Punishment
Reasons to Drink for July:
1 1967 - Happy Birthday Pam Anderson.
2 - Happy Birthday Sean "Silly" S!
3 1969 & 1971 - Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones and Jim Morrison are
found dead. Bad day to be a rock star, eh?
4 1960 - The 50 star U.S. Flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 4
minutes later, it was stolen by some "locals".
5 1946 - The bikini bathing suit made its debut.
6 1699 - Capt. William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in Boston, MA and
deported back to England. Was he really deported or did he just hate
Boston too?
7 1984 - The song "Relax", by Frankie Goes To Hollywood became the
biggest selling song of all time in Britain. Feel free to make your own
British-Gay joke here.
8 1961 - Happy Birthday Toby Keith.
9 1956 - Happy Birthday Tom Hanks.
10 1975 - Cher filed for divorce from Greg Allman just 10 days after they
were married. Even when you are THAT high, you can't stand to listen to
her.
11 1946 - Dean Martin recorded his first 4 songs.
12 1937 - Happy Birthday Bill Cosby.
13 1946 - Happy Birthday Cheech Marin.
14 1967 - The Who began their first full scale U.S. tour.
15 1952 - Happy Birthday Terry O'Quinn (Lost & Millennium)
16 1967 - Happy Birthday Will Ferrell.
17 1967 - The Jimi Hendrix Experience opened for The Monkees in New
York. What the fuck was that all about?
18 1970 - Pink Floyd and Deep Purple played a free concert at London's
Hyde Park. How cool would that have been?
19 1969 - The Rolling Stones released "Honky Tonk Woman".
20 1974 - Joey Ramone became the lead singer of The Ramones.
Well, that was convenient.
21 1999 - The missing plane of John F. Kennedy Jr. was found off the
coast of Martha's Vineyard. What is it about Kennedy's and water?
22 1955 - Happy Birthday Willem Dafoe.
23 1949 - Happy Birthday Don Imus, the pioneer of free speech.
24 1956 - Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis ended their team.
25 1974 - Happy Birthday Tera Patrick.
26 2000 - Oasis stormed off the stage after being hit with bottles, cans,
and coins at a Swiss music festival. Man they suck!
27 1974 - Lynyrd Skynrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" was released. 4
minutes later, the phrase "Play some Skynrd, man" was coined.
28 1896 - The city of Miami, FL, was incorporated....by Cuba, apparently.
29 1959 - The Isley Brothers recorded "Shout".
30 2001 - Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three
consecutive Tours de France. Hell yeah.....fuck you, Frogs!
31 1976 - Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" was released.
MORE COWBELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 1967 - Happy Birthday Pam Anderson.
2 - Happy Birthday Sean "Silly" S!
3 1969 & 1971 - Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones and Jim Morrison are
found dead. Bad day to be a rock star, eh?
4 1960 - The 50 star U.S. Flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 4
minutes later, it was stolen by some "locals".
5 1946 - The bikini bathing suit made its debut.
6 1699 - Capt. William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in Boston, MA and
deported back to England. Was he really deported or did he just hate
Boston too?
7 1984 - The song "Relax", by Frankie Goes To Hollywood became the
biggest selling song of all time in Britain. Feel free to make your own
British-Gay joke here.
8 1961 - Happy Birthday Toby Keith.
9 1956 - Happy Birthday Tom Hanks.
10 1975 - Cher filed for divorce from Greg Allman just 10 days after they
were married. Even when you are THAT high, you can't stand to listen to
her.
11 1946 - Dean Martin recorded his first 4 songs.
12 1937 - Happy Birthday Bill Cosby.
13 1946 - Happy Birthday Cheech Marin.
14 1967 - The Who began their first full scale U.S. tour.
15 1952 - Happy Birthday Terry O'Quinn (Lost & Millennium)
16 1967 - Happy Birthday Will Ferrell.
17 1967 - The Jimi Hendrix Experience opened for The Monkees in New
York. What the fuck was that all about?
18 1970 - Pink Floyd and Deep Purple played a free concert at London's
Hyde Park. How cool would that have been?
19 1969 - The Rolling Stones released "Honky Tonk Woman".
20 1974 - Joey Ramone became the lead singer of The Ramones.
Well, that was convenient.
21 1999 - The missing plane of John F. Kennedy Jr. was found off the
coast of Martha's Vineyard. What is it about Kennedy's and water?
22 1955 - Happy Birthday Willem Dafoe.
23 1949 - Happy Birthday Don Imus, the pioneer of free speech.
24 1956 - Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis ended their team.
25 1974 - Happy Birthday Tera Patrick.
26 2000 - Oasis stormed off the stage after being hit with bottles, cans,
and coins at a Swiss music festival. Man they suck!
27 1974 - Lynyrd Skynrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" was released. 4
minutes later, the phrase "Play some Skynrd, man" was coined.
28 1896 - The city of Miami, FL, was incorporated....by Cuba, apparently.
29 1959 - The Isley Brothers recorded "Shout".
30 2001 - Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three
consecutive Tours de France. Hell yeah.....fuck you, Frogs!
31 1976 - Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" was released.
MORE COWBELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian-tologist of the Month!
Every month, Cerebral-punishment.com is going to recognize one of
Brian Lee's best fans.....the Brian-tologist of the Month! This months'
winner is:
Richard H. of Lexington Park, MD!
Fair Winds and Following Seas to one of the Good Guys. Good luck in
the new job.
Every month, Cerebral-punishment.com is going to recognize one of
Brian Lee's best fans.....the Brian-tologist of the Month! This months'
winner is:
Richard H. of Lexington Park, MD!
Fair Winds and Following Seas to one of the Good Guys. Good luck in
the new job.
Cerebral
Punishment
Punishment
| Next show: To Be Announced |
"Brian-Buster" Recommendations
Must See: "Ninja Assassin". Awesome "Guy Movie". Non-stop blood
and guts.......and NINJAS!
Must Avoid: "The Bounty Hunter". Don't let the cool title fool you. This
is a shit movie with the skank from "Friends" and that guy who should
stick to action movies.
Must See: "Ninja Assassin". Awesome "Guy Movie". Non-stop blood
and guts.......and NINJAS!
Must Avoid: "The Bounty Hunter". Don't let the cool title fool you. This
is a shit movie with the skank from "Friends" and that guy who should
stick to action movies.
