* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
next show:   to be announced...soon!
{
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Cerebral                           
Punishment
            Reasons to Drink for June:

1 Jun 1973 - Happy Birthday Heidi Klum.
2 Jun 1851 - Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law prohibiting
alcohol.  Just another reason New England sucks.
3 Jun 1967 - The Doors "Light My Fire" was released.
4 Jun 1975 - Happy Birthday Angelina Jolie.
5 Jun 1968 - U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy was mortally shot in Los
Angeles.  Can't make  jokes..ESPN might fire me.
6 Jun 1948 - Happy Birthday Robert England (Freddy Kruger).
7 Jun 1917 - Happy Birthday Dean Martin.
8 Jun 1998 - The National Rifle Association elected Charlton Heston to
be its president.  We would forever be protected from those "damn,
dirty apes".
9 Jun 1981 - Happy Birthday Natalie Portman.
10 Jun 1978 - Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good" was released.
11 Jun 1973 - After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of
Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle.   Gotta love PA!
12 Jun 1974 - Happy Birthday Jason Mewes (Jay of "Jay and Silent Bob).
13 Jun 1940.  Happy Birthday Malcolm McDowell (Clockwork Orange).
14 Jun 1989 - Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested in Beverly Hills for slapping a
motorcycle policeman.
15 Jun 1980 - Happy Birthday Mary Carey.
16 Jun 1980 - The movie "The Blues Brothers" opened in Chicago, IL.
17 Jun 1966 & 67 - Happy Birthday to my two favorite porn stars, Tori
Wells and Christy Canyon.
18 Jun 1873 - Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote
for a U.S. President.   Get your ass back in the kitchen!
19 Jun 1943 - The National Football League approved the merger of the
Philadelphia Eagles and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
20 Jun 1952 - Happy Birthday John Goodman.
21 Jun 1981 - "Raiders of the Lost Ark" opened.
22 Jun 1958 - Happy Birthday Bruce Campbell.
23 Jun 1993 - Lorena Bobbitt  sexually mutilated her husband, John,
after he allegedly raped her.  This was put here as a reminder
guys......they are ALL dangerous.
24 Jun 1664 - New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was founded.
It was immediately taken over by the Sopranos.
25 Jun 1995 - Pearl Jam canceled their tour because of an ongoing
feud with Ticketmaster. Huh...Pearl Jam.  Remember them?
26 Jun 1956 - Happy Birthday Chris Issak.
27 Jun 1955 - The first "Wide Wide World" was broadcast on NBC-TV.
29 Jun 1953 - Happy Birthday Colin Hay (Men At Work).
30 Jun 1953 - The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in
Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250.
Cerebral                           
Punishment
Next show: To Be Announced.
       "Brian-Buster" Recommendations"

Must See:  "Out of the Furnace" (2013).   Besides the fact it was filmed
in my hometown, Woody and Bales are just AWESOME!


Must Avoid:  
"Ride Along" (2014)" .   Sorry, Kevin Hart is a one trick
pony.  I am guessing he will be dressing up like a woman in his next
movie.
                                                   Manitoba Moose's
                        Tasteless Jokes of the Month
                         


-
Q: What's the difference between your penis and a bonus?
 A: The wife will always blow your bonus.

-  A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were walking along
the beach. A seagull flies over and shits all over the blonde.
The brunette says in a disgusted voice, "Hang on. The bathroom
is just up the hill. I'll go get some toilet paper."
After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh. The redhead
says, "What's so funny?"
The blonde says, "Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb
and look at her! By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that
seagull will be miles away!"
                            So, now what?

Well, now that hockey is over, what do we have to look forward to you.   
I know what you are saying, "hockey isn't over yet".  Well, depending on
when you are reading this, (if you are reading this at all......not like those
lazy ass jacks that just look at the pictures), the season IS over.  I mean,
as soon as the Dan Bylsma helped the Penguins get eliminated, the
season was over.

OK, there is always that basketball thing.  Ah....fuck no!  Fortunately, it
will over soon as well.  That also means ESPN won't have anything to
talk about.  Oh wait, there is still the Yankees, the Patriots, Tony Romo,
and I am sure they will get a TON of race baiting in as well.

Speaking of the Yankees....they still suck.

NASCAR?  Again, no thank you.  If I want to watch a bunch of red necks
drive around in a circle than I.......wait, why the fuck would I want to
watch that?

Tennis?  Well, I do like sweaty chicks that grunt a lot.  

I think True Blood is starting again pretty soon.  Naked vampire chicks
always makes things better.  Deborah Woll BETTER get naked this
season.


Well, I guess instead I am going to start writing more.   And just in time.  
One new (BIG) show already booked for September, and another
possibly being booked in August (Russ...make that shit happen already!)
Once all the particulars are finalized, I will be sure to let you all know.


Till next time......drinks are on me,

BL
                    Brian's Bucket List!
 Just a random list of things  Brian wants "to do" before it's all over.        
                                  This month:  
Denise Milani!
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