* The Chemically Enhanced Comedy of Brian Lee *
next show:   to be announced...soon!
{
}
Cerebral                           
Punishment
        Reasons to Drink for December:

1 Happy Birthday to my Mother.  
2 1973 - The Who and some companions were jailed overnight for
for $6,000 worth of destruction they imposed on a hotel room after a
show.
3 1973 - Ringo Starr released the song "You're Sixteen." I guess 16
years old were legal back then.
4 1954 - Happy Birthday Tony Todd (Candyman)
5 1951 - The first push button-controlled garage opened in Washington,
DC.
6 1988 - Metallica recorded their first video, "One."
7 1941 - Japan REALLY fucked up!
8 Happy Birthday to Sammy Davis Jr., Jim Morrison, Greg Allman, and
David Carradine.
9 1967 - Jim Morrison was arrested onstage in New Haven, CT.
10 1901 - The first Nobel prizes were awarded...when it actually meant
something.
11 1976 - Bob Seger released his album "Night Moves".
12 1915 - Happy Birthday Frank Sinatra.
13 1948 - Happy Birthday Ted Nugent.
14 1974 - Styx' "Lady" was released.
15 1988 - James Brown was sentenced to a six-year jail term for
leading police on a late-night, two-state car chase.
16 1966 - Jimi Hendrix released his first single, "Hey Joe."
17 1975 - Happy Birthday Milla Jovovich.
18 1970 - Divorce became legal in Italy.
19 1971 - Happy Birthday Tiffany Towers.
20 1975 - Joe Walsh joined the Eagles.
21 1948 - Happy Birthday Samuel L. Jackson.
22 1894 - The United States Golf Association was formed
23 1943 - Happy Birthday Harry Shearer.
24 Christmas Eve.  Just get drunk!
25 Christmas Day.  Just get drunk again.
26 2002 - The first cloned human baby was born.
27 2000 - Mario Lemeiux returned to the National Hockey League as a
player after over 3 years of retirement.
28 1968 - The Doors' "Touch Me" was released.
29 1851 - The first American Young Men's Christian Association was
organized, in Boston, MA.   That's the YMCA for the folks who can't do
acronyms.
30 - Happy Birthday to Roger Glover (Deep Purple) and Jeff Lynne (ELO).
31 - New Years Eve.  Do you need another reason?
Cerebral                           
Punishment
Next show: To Be Announced.
      "Brian-Buster" Recommendations"

Must See:  "Grand Piano" (2013).   Elijah Wood and a very underrated
John Cusak at their best as a classical pianist and the hitman out to kill
him.


Must Avoid:  "Neighbors" (2014)".  Seth Rogen, enough said.  You are
better off watching the John Belushi/Dan Akroyd version from 1981.
                                                          Manitoba Moose's
                        Tasteless Jokes of the Month
                     


-
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.
You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He
shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass
through the pearly gates.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just
what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carols".
-  Q:  Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
   A:  To keep her off the North Pole
-  Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas
time ?
A: Because they were originally made for children but grown men want
to play with them.
                           
           2014 Annual X-Mas Wish List

This is all I want for Christmas this year.

- Just like every other year, I am asking for Mike Tomlin to be
unemployed before the beginning of training camp in 2015.

- An end to "The Hunger Games".  Haven't we suffered enough?

- An end to Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.  Haven't we suffered enough?

- East coast = more stage time.

- For James Franco to have a successful solo career.  You don't need
that entourage riding your coattails anymore (except Danny
McBride..keep him around, he's cool).

- One more run as WWE world heavyweight champion.

- For former Creed lead singer Scott Stapp to recover from his recent
financial and marital problems.  Nah, just kidding.  He's a dick and
deserves it.

- As Sean C. told me a couple months ago, due to recent openings,
maybe a chance to "move up in the rotation".  If you want to know the
rest of that inside joke, just ask.

See, I don't ask for much.  Merry Christmas to all of you.  I will see my
east coast Lee-tards very soon.


Till next time......drinks are on me,

BL
                      Brian's Bucket List!
Just a random list of things  Brian wants "to do" before it's all over.         
                                 This month:
 Pamela Ramkeesoon !
Counter